I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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