I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize