Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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