Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
