Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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