Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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