Your tits are I can't wait for
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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