make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
