i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
