There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
