well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
