so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize