Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
