Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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