With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
