Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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