It's Friday. Sex?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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