Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
