I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
where are my eyebrows?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
