Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
