u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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