i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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