im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
