I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
