Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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