i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
