just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
