I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
