I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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