Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is not my ceiling
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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