Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize