do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
