That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
