WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
