I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
