Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
