how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
