Are we in a gay sports bar?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
