Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
