did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
