Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
