u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
