No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
