I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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