Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize