Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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