You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's official drugs can't kill me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We need to get me chipped asap
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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