Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A+ Viking dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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