I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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