How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
