Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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