The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
