party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
