People with herpes should wear stickers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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