oh god the rape fog is back!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
