There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
